45 Pieces of Advice for Every Gal

I mentioned THIS article in my Confessional Friday post last week, and the whole idea of it sort of stuck with me.  Henceforth, I bring you my own list of 45 things I really wish I could tell every gal in the world.

1. NEVER, EVER, EVER choose a boy over your girlfriends.  Have I made myself clear?!  Never, EVER.  No one likes the girl who ditches her gal pals while she's got a man and then comes running back to them when said man has flown the coop  Don't be THAT girl.  Always make time for your gals.
2. Don't walk out of your house wearing something that your mama and your grandmama wouldn't both approve of.  Modest is hottest, girls.  When boys see you in that scantly clad ensemble, there's only one thing running through their minds... and it's definitely not that they can't wait to take you home to meet the family.
3. Refrain from staring at yourself in the mirror and making a laundry list of the things you hate about yourself.  If it's something that can be changed, like your weight or how toned your body is, then change it!  But if it's a feature you're stuck with, embrace it.  There will never be a more beautiful you.  Rock it, girl.  Compliment yourself daily.
4. Chivalry is, in fact, NOT dead.  Respect yourself, and demand that same respect from men.  Don't settle for the guy that treats you anything less than princess-like. 
5. Learn some patience & live in the moment.  If we'd stop being so worried about what's to come in life, we'd sure be a lot happier.  Embrace this season of your life and live it to the fullest.  Embrace every single season of your life, for that matter.
6. You have to learn to love yourself before anyone else can love you.  Plain and simple.
7. Don’t make promises when you’re happy. Don’t reply when you’re angry. Don’t make decisions when you’re sad.  We are emotional creatures, I get it.  But try, just a little, to control those emotions.  Step away, count to ten, take a walk, take a drive, get out of your head.  Whatever you do, be smart about it.
8. You can't change a man unless he's in diapers.  Stop trying to be a fixer.  Stop trying to be his mama.  If he needs THAT much changing, you should just avoid him all-together, because it could result in a lifetime project.  Find someone who suits you, not exhausts you.  Otherwise, you'll be resentful.
9. Don't be a gossip & don't spread gossip either.  It's not attractive and, quite frankly, makes you look like a Jealous Jenny.  Just.  Quit.  Talk about something uplifting instead!
10. Always keep a bottle of champagne in the fridge for a special occasion.  Sometimes the special occasion is that you have a bottle of champagne in the fridge.
11. Never underestimate the strength of your body.  It's truly a shame when women live their whole lives without experiencing what their body is capable of.  You don't NEED a boy to lift your heavy items.  Get it, girrrrrrrrrrrl.
12. Learn to take care of yourself.  Don't be a girl who needs a guy.  This will serve you well all the days of your life.  "I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T do you know what that mean?!"
13. Be able to distinguish between wanting a wedding and wanting a marriage.  A wedding is a one day affair.  A marriage lasts a lifetime.  I see so many girls giddy over planning the perfect wedding that they just have no idea what they're about to experience after the honeymoon stage wears off.  While a wedding is lots of fun, marriage isn't always just a blasty blast.  If you can at all picture yourself without that guy in your life, then wed him you shall not.
14. If you're feeling down on yourself, open your closet.  Pick out something that makes you feel pretty, and put it on immediately.  It's amazing what a great outfit can do to boost your confidence.
15. Always follow the girl code.  We are a fragile species, so let's unite!  Don't go stealing another girl's boyfriend or {even more disgusting} her husband.  Don't make ugly remarks about another girl's appearance.  We are all just girls, tryin' to make it in this world!  Girls are mean enough as it is.  Let's lift one another up, y'all.
16. Make an effort to create alone time for yourself.  Whether it's a night at home with some takeout and wine, five spare minutes to sit in the bathroom with the door closed so that you can paint your nails, or just an extra hour of sleep on a Saturday morning...  DO IT.  You're a girl.  There's always a whole lot going on in that pretty little head of yours, and it's essential that you unwind.
17. Don't get so caught up in always looking hot on date night.  Allow me to let you in on a little secret...  You're not always going to look like a million bucks the rest of your life.  If that boy has to see you all fancied up all the time, he's certainly not the boy you want to marry.  Pregnancy and labor, the flu, and a long week and + stress just don't look good on anybody.  I don't care who ya are.  Don't set false pretenses and make him think you're always going to spring for a new pair of heels and a new shade of lipstick every time he takes you out.  Umm, no.  If he thinks you're hot in sweats sans the full face of makeup, he will think you're hot no matter what.  And he's a keeper!
18. Men have simple minds.  It's always face value with them.  I promise you that they are not sitting around with their buddies, drinking beer, discussing the psychological meaning behind the fact that you sent them a text message that just said "K."  They're men, honey.  They don't read into ANYTHING.  Neither should you.  If a boy is making the effort to speak to you, he likes you.  End of story.  Acknowledging this fact will save you mounds of stress.
19. You're going to grow up to be just like your mama.  It's alright.  I constantly find myself saying things and then subsequently thinking, "Crap!  I sound like my mom!"  It's not a bad thing.  Embrace it and learn from her.  Ask her opinion on your life's happenings, share your travesties with her, spend girl time with her...  You'll be a better woman for it!
20. Be passionate about something.  Anything.  Be so in love with your cause that you can't wait to share it with the world.  Know your stuff.  Practice your elevator speech.  Be able to sell a ketchup popsicle to the lady wearing white gloves.  Exude passion for what you believe in, so much so that other people want to believe in it, too.
21. Pretty is as pretty does.  ALWAYS be ladylike. Enough said.  No amount of makeup is going to fix your ugly insides, sweetie.  Be just as pretty on the inside as you strive to be on the outside.  Spend time developing your soul and your mind. 
22. Get lots of sleep & drink lots and lots of water.  It's just a no-brainer.  You need to be rested and hydrated if you want to look & feel even half-way decent.  Instead of watching four TV shows when you get home at night, watch two and then get in bed and read for thirty minutes.  Take the TV out of your bedroom.  Always have a glass of ice water on your nightstand.  Make your bedroom pretty and relaxing.  Always have clean sheets on your bed. Turn off your phone when you crawl into bed at night.  Your mind and body can't truly rest when you're surrounded by stimulants.
23. Quit trying out every product in the beauty aisle.  Pick what works for you and stick with it.  Don't be a science experiment.  Your skin will hate you for it.  And so will your bank account. 
24. Be financially smart.  Oh, this is just the best piece of advice I could give any girl.  Ever.  Make a budget and stick to it.  If you don't need another pair of black pumps, then don't buy them.  Same goes for purses and scarves and dresses and jewelry.  A full bank account and being debt-free are, long term, so absolutely better for you than an overstuffed closet, new Louis Vuitton, or fancy car or house you can't afford.  Always know what you can afford and stick to it.  Plan for a rainy day.  Don't spend extra money the second you get it.  Save for vacation instead of putting it on your credit card.  Pay cash for absolutely everything you can.  Contribute as much as possible to a 401k and make sure you invest some of that in bonds.  Look into life insurance policies.  When you're fifty and you take a glance at your financial well-being, I promise you won't recall that shirt or new bag you passed up at the age of twenty-five.
25. Embrace your intellectual side.  Read famous works of literature.  Use big words.  Keep up-to-date on national news and politics.  Become well-versed with your portfolio.  Develop an impressive resume.  Attend the opera and the ballet.  Brush up on etiquette.  Take ballroom dancing lessons.  Take a college course for fun.  Whatever it is, develop yourself intellectually.
26. Don't even {not for one second} consider marrying a boy unless both of your families support your relationship.  So many girls overlook this.  If you can't get along with the boy's family {especially his mother} then RUN FOR THE NEAREST EXIT IMMEDIATELY.  While you don't really marry the family, they DO hold the power to make your married life miserable.  In the same sense, if your family meets a boy and doesn't approve...  NEXT!  Your family knows you and they always have your best interest at heart.  If you can't bring him around for Thanksgiving without complete dread, ditch him before it's too late.
27. Don't forget to communicate with people in a way that doesn't involve text messaging or social media.  In our day and age, I think we too often rely on texting, Facebook, Instagram, and other forms of social media as our main line of communication.  However, you just can't put a price tag on the power of a good phone call.  Next time you're stuck in traffic with thirty minutes to spare, pick up the phone and call your best friend who moved away or even  your grandparents.  Face to face is even better if you can swing that!  Either way, it'll be well worth your time.
28. Remember to give back.  John F. Kennedy once said "To those whom much is given, much is expected."  Remember that the next time you get a bonus at work.  If you don't tithe to your church, then find a charity that you can give to.  If you've got more time than money, then volunteer.  When you've been blessed, the best thing you can do is to bless others.
29. Put your big girl panties on.  Life is tough, get a helmet.  Sound familiar?!  Shout out to all my Boy Meets World lovers out there.  When you face adversity, woman up.  Just put your big girl panties on and deal with it.  Don't complain, just do it.  Learn from your mistakes, grow from the struggles, and in all things strive to be a better woman.
30. Respect your elders.  One of the things that makes me the happiest is seeing a young man holding the door for an elderly person.  It just makes my heart absolutely melt.  In the same sense, when if I ever experience bouts of road rage and later discover that the person I was yelling at about driving too slow is actually a little grey-haired old woman, I immediately feel guilty.  Be polite to your elders.  Hold the door for them at church or at a restaurant.  Use your manners with them.  Tap them for advice.  Take a note from the old lady who strikes up a conversation with you in the salon.  You may be the only person she has to talk to, and your willingness to listen could make her day.  I once was standing in the Walmart line on a Sunday, behind the world's cutest little old lady and her husband.  Per usual on a Sunday afternoon, the place was packed.  The lady was putting her groceries up on the belt and realized three of the eggs in her carton were cracked.  Her sweet old husband walked right on back to the dairy section {conveniently located in the very back of the store - way to go, Walmart} to grab a replacement carton.  The people behind me in line were completely annoyed.  When he returned with the new carton, the cashier made it a point to check every egg, only to realize that two of those eggs were cracked as well.  Without really thinking, I said "I'll go get you another one!"  I ran back to the dairy section {literally, I ran} and grabbed a brand new, seemingly unharmed carton.  Before heading back, I inspected every single egg with complete delicacy and made it a point NOT to run back, so as not to crack a single egg and send these poor people into yet another egg trauma.  You should've seen that sweet old lady's face when I came briskly walking back up to that line with those eggs!  I wish I had a camera to capture that sweet smile of hers.  I made her a promise that I'd carefully checked every egg and she thanked me about a thousand times, complimented, my 'strong legs,' and said "I should buy your groceries!"  I made sure to tell her that wouldn't be necessary, but boy-oh-boy, how blessed I was by that experience.  And, suffice it to say, the people behind me in line were happy, too!
31. Always decorate for Christmas.  We are girls and this is just essential.  Nothing will make you happier after returning home from a long day's work in December, than a house decked out for Christmas.  Don't just stop at decorations!  Bake too many cookies.  Listen to too much Christmas music.  Watch Christmas Vacation about a thousand times every year.  Make a tradition and make the most of every holiday season!  The joy will live with you year-around.
32. Have a very best friend.  This is key to the survival of women.  Heck, have TWO very best friends!  Most importantly, make an honest effort to grow and nurture those friendships so that they grow into a lifetime.  Every girl needs that friend she can call with bad news who says "Grab your purse and meet me for drinks!"  That's a blessing.  You just simply won't survive this life without it.
33. TRAVEL.  I love this one!  Can't you tell by the all-caps?!  I'm practically screaming it at you.  Go on adventures.  Do things you'd normally never do {within reason}.  Go on a last-minute weekend getaway.  Drive to a new destination with your windows down and music blaring.  Especially while you're not yet a mommy, take the time to travel and soak up everything this gorgeous world has to offer.  Seek new experiences.  Try new things and don't be afraid to look stupid doing them.  YOLO, people.
34. Have a genuine interest for other people and what they've got going on in their lives.  Be intentional.  Show interest.  Ask questions.  Check up.  You'll go through stages of life where you'll need those very same people to do the same things for you.  I promise they'll remember what you've done for them!
35. Be physically active.  Every day.  I don't care if it takes the purchase of a whole new fitness wardrobe to motivate you...  GET YOUR BOOTY OFF THE COUCH AND IN SHAPE!  As women, we spend an unhealthy amount of time critiquing what is wrong with ourselves.  Do you know why that is?!  More often than not, that criticism stems from the guilt we feel from knowing we're not doing a darn thing about it.  Don't you want to be able to say "heck yes" when your friends invite you on a hiking trip?!  You just NEED to be in shape, plain and simple.  You'll feel better and you'll just get more out of life.  An hour in the gym five times a week equals the best five hours of your week.  Promise!
36. Be a compliment wholesaler.  Give out compliments. Give them out in bulk.  You WANT to be that friend call when they're feeling down on themselves.  Be a motivator and an encourager.  Let that attitude be contagious.  The best kind of person to be around is the uplifting kind.  Let that be YOU, girlfriend!
37. Learn to cook.  Are you sitting around fretting about how you'll 'never meet a man?!' Get UP and get in the kitchen.  Food is the way to a man's heart.  Food is EVERY man's love language.  I guarantee he'll find you smokin' hot when you're standing at the stove fixing his favorite steak and potatoes.  Heck, don't even learn to cook for a man!  Learn to cook for YOURSELF!  Buying groceries and cooking at home versus eating out all the time will save you gobs and gobs of money.  Plus, there's just nothing that compares to a good home cooked meal!  Need some inspiration?!  Head to your nearest TJ Maxx and grab a cookbook that strikes your fancy.  Better yet, spend an afternoon in the kitchen with your mama on a Saturday or commit to helping her prepare Thanksgiving dinner this year.  Experience is the best teacher.  Cooking is an invaluable skill, especially if you're a woman!  Love people and feed them good food, and you'll have friends for life.
38. Brush up your manners.  When is the last time you said 'yes ma'am?!'  USE IT.  Say please and thank you.  Write a handwritten thank you card.  This will serve you well all the days of your life.
39. Always have a little black dress on hand.  If you don't already have one {or three} what are you waiting for?!  Every girl needs at least one.  You can dress it up with stilettos and fancy earrings, or down with sandals and a jean jacket.  Put a blazer over it for work, or tie a chambray over it for church.  The little black dress represents endless possibilities in your life.
40. Love what you do.  It's said that if we love what we do, we never work a day in our lives.  I SO agree with that!  Enjoy your career.  If you don't, then remember you're not dead yet.  I once heard a professor say that the average twenty-something these days will change careers an average of like ten times in their lifetime.  Not just jobs, careers.  Find what you love to do and be passionate about it.  Life's too short to not be happy.
41. Whatever you are, be a good one.  Be a leader.  Be a follower.  Be a teacher or a preacher or an astronaut or an entrepreneur or a clown.  Whatever you choose to do, be the very best at it.  Be the best you that you can be.  You owe it to yourself!
42. Take too many pictures.  You'll want them when you're old.  And your daughters will want to see how hideously you dressed or how hot your boyfriends were.
43. Laugh at least ten times on a daily basis.  Turn that frown upside down!  If you're not naturally laughing at least ten times a day, then you need to reevaluate what you're doing with your life and the people in it.  Rid yourself of toxic situations and relationships.  Surround yourself with uncommon joy and people that inspire you to be better.
44. Listen more than you speak.  Shut your mouth and open your ears.  You learn way more by listening than speaking!
45. Kill 'em with kindness!  This goes for your enemies.  Be so nice to them that they hate you even more.  Pray for them.  Be an example for them.  Love your haters!